Paradoxes About Life (That Will Make You Think) | Volume 14

Paradox (noun): a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well-founded or true.

I love me a good paradox. In this edition, we're going to look at 10 paradoxes about life that I think are, as the definition above states, "well-founded or true".

Here's what I've been thinking about lately:*

*In addition to "I can't wait for Selection Sunday. Bring on the Madness."

Haven't subscribed? New here? This newsletter, Makes Ya Think, poses questions about human behavior, and hopefully, provides insights that challenge your beliefs, offer a unique perspective and if nothing else...make you think.

What paradoxes about life are true?

Here are 10 paradoxes that will (hopefully) make you think...

The Paradox of Vulnerability

Acknowledging and being open about our flaws actually attracts people to us. When we admit our shortcomings, we show others they can trust us and that we have a high level of self-awareness.

What is scary and vulnerable to us can be beautiful and brave to another person. Not being insecure about an “unattractive” quality instantly makes you way more attractive. Funny how that works, eh?

“Imperfections are beautiful. They are the window into a person's complexity, depth, and character” - Lex Friedman

The Paradox of Being Weird

As kids, we desperately want to fit in and be normal. Yet, as adults, our unique interests, talents and attributes are our edge. Being different is a competitive advantage – no one can be you except for you.

Paradoxically, the things that made you feel weird as a kid can make you very successful as an adult.

“It’s the weird that’s truly normal. It’s how people actually are- what they really care about” – Tyler Cowen

The Paradox of Time

Quick question: would you trade lives with Warren Buffett?

Despite his net worth of more than $100 billion – I’m confident not many of you said yes.

Why? Warren Buffett is 92 years old.

Time is precious. No matter how much success, fame or money someone has, you probably wouldn’t want to trade away your remaining time on earth.

The paradox is this: while we are all aware of how valuable our time is, we constantly waste time doing things that don’t matter instead of focusing our energy on things that do.

It’s why I tell my friends I’m going to stay in to “get a good night’s sleep”, but then spend hours scrolling on twitter and watching TV instead. Or why you don’t make an effort to see your friend that’s in town for the day because there’s “always next time”.

“Every day is a gift” – Art Loveley

The Paradox of Wanting to Be Liked

The more you want someone to like you, the less they will.

Let’s be real: no one likes a try-hard.

This can explain why this girl I liked didn’t like me back – I wanted so bad to impress her that I overthought everything, got abnormally nervous and talked way too much about myself.

Ok fine, I’m sure there were several other reasons, but that certainly didn’t help.

“Just be yourself. Everybody else is taken.” – Kevin Schaefer

“I don’t give a shit about your blog” – my Tinder date

The Paradox of Being Right

Research shows there’s a direct correlation between how open a person is to different perspectives and how much that person actually knows about any given subject.

As it turns out, the more convinced someone is that they’re right, the less they probably know.

When you make your opinions part of your identity, you make it nearly impossible to change your mind. In contrast, when you make your identity the search for the truth, you allow your opinions to evolve as you learn new information.

“The trouble with the world is that the stupid are overconfident and the intelligent are full of doubt” – Bertrand Russell

The Paradox of Consensus

Sometimes when everyone is thinking the exact same thing, nobody is really thinking at all.

If you tell 10 people to get ice cream and they all have to agree on the same flavor, they’ll pick chocolate or vanilla every time. Groups of people don’t agree on what’s cool, unique or innovative, they agree on what’s easy. Consensus can sometimes just be a synonym for average.

Under ancient Jewish law, if a suspect was unanimously found guilty, they were deemed innocent. Total agreement signaled a systematic flaw in the judicial process.

“Consensus seems to be the process of abandoning all beliefs, principles, values and policies. It is something in which no one believes and to which no one objects” – Margaret Thatcher

The Paradox of Wanting Something

Ever notice how when you’re looking for something you rarely find it?

Sometimes you may have to stop looking in order to find what you’re looking for.

Pursuing happiness takes you further away from it. The need to be loved and accepted can prevent us from loving and accepting ourselves.

Related to dating, sometimes the best way to meet someone is to not need to be with someone else. By not needing a relationship to be happy and investing in yourself instead, paradoxically, you may just find what you’re looking for.

“The harder we try with the conscious to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and results come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing” – Aldous Huxley

The Paradox of Wanting to Disappear

People that feel down say they want to disappear, but they really just want to be found. They want to feel seen, loved and valued. They want to discover who they really are.

“A man who claims to be searching for himself is not looking for a map; he is looking for a sense of distinction” – Nicholas Epley

The Paradox of The Man in The Car

When you see someone driving a super nice car, you rarely think, “wow, that guy is so cool”. Instead, you think, “wow, if I had that super nice car, people would think I’m cool”.

Subconsciously or not, this is how most people think.

Even worse, other people (like me) think, “sick car dude, no one cares”.

The lesson here? Don’t try to impress people (especially with material things!). They’re too busy thinking about themselves anyways.

A nice car, a nice house and a nice boat are great – but don’t expect them to impress anyone else.

Here’s Kevin’s list of much more attractive qualities: humble, curious, funny, intelligent, resilient, driven, open-minded, loyal, fun, self-aware, thoughtful, present and attentive.

“People tend to want wealth to signal to others that they should be liked or admired. But in reality, those other people often bypass admiring you, not because they don’t think wealth is admirable, but because they use your wealth as a benchmark for their own desire to be liked and admired.” – Morgan Housel

The Paradox of Neuroscience

“If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't” – Emerson Pugh

Makes ya think…eh?

Parting Thoughts

We had a newsletter breakthrough this past weekend. My parents were in town and, as suggested in Volume 13, they struck up a conversation with a few strangers at the table next to us.

Sure enough, one lovely gentleman at the table grew up in St. Louis and had siblings and relatives still living close by. He also happened to go to the rival high school of the school my parents attended.

This made my mom say, "our son writes a blog and was just writing about this - it's funny how talking to strangers can really make you happier - what a small world".

I just sat there embarrassed (love you mom) but was happy to see this small-world interaction play out in real time.

If you have two boats, you also need a paradox (signing off with a bad paradox pun),

Kevin